I Don’t Date My Best Friend

[pba_chapter_break]Chapter 1[/pba_chapter_break]

Lou

What type of idiot invites a guy to meet their parents for their third date? It’s like when someone hops the fence around the gorilla cage at the zoo… and then takes the gorilla to meet their parents for their third date. It’s crazy talk that only a psycho would do.

But here’s the thing. We’ve been texting so much. And he told me that he was falling in love with me after the second date. That’s right, I went on a second date with someone. I bet no one had that on their bingo card.

But I did and he took me into the mountains to watch a meteor shower. And he had a blanket and a picnic basket. I’m practically crying just thinking about it. No one has ever treated me like this. So when my parents said they were coming to visit me, how could I not take the opportunity to prove them wrong?

‘We don’t have a problem with your decision to stop taking your medication,’ they said. ‘We just don’t think that anyone will love you if you’re off of them.’

What? Did my parents just say that? They don’t think their daughter will ever find love being who she is?

Well, let me tell you something Mom, there’s a guy who’s hot and rich that any girl would die to have. And he’s falling in love with me, the daughter you don’t think anyone will ever love.

I’ve always said, if life gives you lemons, you make sure you use them to prove your parents were wrong about you. Seymour is my lemons. Does Sey look like the guy who tosses his keys to the nearest Mexican to park his yacht? A little bit. But according to my parents, I look like a girl who would never find love. So, looks can be deceiving.

The only issue now is that I texted Sey the time and place we would be meeting my parents and he hasn’t texted back to confirm. The guy texts me ‘Good morning, beautiful,’ every day. And on the morning he’s supposed to meet my parents, crickets?

Did I make a mistake? Was I moving too fast? He was the one who said that he was falling in love with me. I didn’t go there. So, how far off is that from inviting him to meet my parents?

I ruined things, didn’t I? Oh god, I did! I took a guy who offered me an olive branch and I spanked him with it.

Approaching a full-on panic attack, I pulled out my phone and called the only one who knew how to handle me when I got into a state like this.

“Titus?”

“Lou, what’s up?”

I could hear him smiling through the phone. Didn’t he know my life was falling apart? How could he be smiling at a time like this? Who’s the crazy person now?

“What’s up? I’ll tell you what’s up. I’m headed to meet my parents and the boyfriend, who I invited for the sole purpose of making my parents eat their words, hasn’t told me he’s coming.”

“Wait, he’s your boyfriend? When did that happen?”

“I don’t know. Sometime after our second date. He told me he loved me and…”

“He told you he loved you after your second date?” he asked cutting me off.

“Yeah. Or maybe it was a text. And he might have said that he’s falling in love with me. But that’s just one block away from love-town, right?”

“I… guess.”

“So, he told me he loved me. Then I told him my parents would be in town and that he should meet them. He said he wanted to and we agreed. But this morning when I gave him the details, nothing. Not even a meme. And I love the funny memes he sends me. It’s one of the best things about our relationship.”

“Wow! That’s a lot.”

“What’s a lot?”

“You just said so many things that…”

“Oh my god, I’m here,” I said cutting Titus off. “What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?”

“First, calm down.”

“I tell you that my life hangs in the balance and you tell me to calm down? This is the perfect time to panic.”

“Lou, listen to me. Take a breath. Breathe.”

Staring at the pastry shop I told my parents to meet me at, I did what Titus said. I took a breath. It was hard considering the giant hands squeezing my chest, but I did. It helped. I barely felt like I was going to pass out anymore.

“Are you doing it?”

“Quiet, I’m trying to breathe,” I told him struggling to take another breath.

After my heart slowed to a deer on caffeine from a chipmunk on speed, I gathered myself.

“You still there?” Titus asked me.

“I’m here.”

“Okay. Where are you?”

“Standing in front of my doom.”

“I meant physically. What’s your address?”

“I’m in front of Nutmeg.”

“Alright. Do you need me to come there?”

“Aren’t you jetting around the world or something?”

“I wasn’t jetting around the world. I was helping Nero get set up at his new place. You know that. You also know that it was his team’s jet. I couldn’t even afford the peanuts on that thing. Nero had to pay for my ticket back.”

“So you’re coming back?”

“We’re about to land. I could catch a taxi and be there in 15 minutes.”

“Oh wait! Wasn’t I supposed to pick you up at the airport? I’m so sorry. My parents told me that they were going to be in town for the day and my mind just stopped.”

“I understand. I get it. Don’t worry. I’ll catch a cab. And if you want me there, I could be there in minutes.”

I thought about it. I had told my parents that there was someone I wanted them to meet. How humiliating would it be to show up by myself? It would prove that everything they ever thought about me was true. I couldn’t take that. Just thinking about it made me want to fall to my knees in tears.

“Could you?” I asked loving Titus more than I thought possible.

“Of course, I can. The stewardess is telling me that I need to shut off my phone. But don’t worry. I’ll be there soon. I got you, Lou. You know that.”

“I do. Thank you,” I said finally calming down.

It was going to be alright. I didn’t know what was going on with Sey, but I didn’t have to worry about that now. And sure, I had implied that they would be meeting someone I was dating, but they haven’t met Titus. I could have meant that I wanted them to meet my best friend. I was going to be alright.

Staring at the pastry shop again, I thought about who would be waiting for me inside. Frank and Martha hadn’t come to visit me since the day they dropped me off at University. They weren’t one of those caring parents who called their children to see how they were doing. I was their accessory.

Despite them having a lot of money, I grew up like we struggled to get by. I can’t think of a single gift they gave me that cost over $20. Meanwhile, they bought themselves new cars every year. Whatever made them look good in the eyes of the horrible people around them, they did. Making me feel loved or provided for didn’t qualify.

The only reason I could afford to attend East Tennessee University was because of my grandmother. She paid for everything I had. Even when I was a kid, if I needed new clothes or pocket money, I would go to her. She was everything to me.

I definitely wouldn’t have survived my childhood without her. She was the one who told me that it was okay for me to be who I was and that she would love me no matter what. That was before I decided to get off my meds. Grandma Aggie might have even been the one to suggest I do it.

How could she know how alive I would feel once I got off of them? She seemed to know a lot of things that others didn’t. It was like she had a connection to the beyond.

Yet, she didn’t use that knowledge the way my parents would have. With knowledge like that, Martha would turn everyone into her slave while Frank would become a super villain. Frank was quiet but when he stared at you, you could see the horrible things he was thinking.

Grandma Aggie was my only refuge from all of that. I wouldn’t have survived without her. Life was too hard and lonely. I could cry thinking about the number of times she held me in her arms telling me I could get through something. In the times I didn’t believe her, she kept holding me until I did.

Grandma Aggie’s arms were my only safe space in all of Tennessee. I think about her every day and call her a lot. Drawing on the strength she gave me is the only reason I’m able to continue towards the pastry shop now.

I didn’t have a boyfriend to show them, but I had Titus. He was going to be here soon and the friendship we have will prove to them that I am worth something. Even if they don’t think so, someone does. Just like Grandma Aggie always did.

Taking a final deep breath, I stepped in front of the glass door and peered through it. The two of them were sitting there dressed impeccably like they always were. Martha was wearing the navy power suit that made her look like a sailor and her signature pearls.

Frank wore a green polo and khaki pants. He was the most invisible person in the room. I might have been their accessory, but Frank was Martha’s. And his job was to not outshine her in any way. He made the money and opened all of the doors. But he wasn’t allowed to have a personality of his own. That was always fine for him.

Stepping inside, I stiffened my back and walked over. Approaching the table, they turned around.

“Mother, Father.”

My mother winced. “You know I hate it when you call us that.”

I did know it. That was why I said it.

“Sorry. Frank, Martha.”

I also knew that Martha liked to hear her name first.

“Would it have killed you to be on time for once in your life?” my mother groaned.

“I don’t know. Would it?”

Martha turned to Frank.

“I can’t deal with her if she is going to be like this. I can’t do it. Not today.”

“Louise, respect your mother,” Frank muttered.

“He speaks,” I said genuinely surprised that he did.

“Do you see what I mean,” my mother told him.

“Louise!” my father said raising his voice.

“Alright!” I said throwing up my hands in defeat.

He hadn’t spoken loudly. But any display of emotion from him was unnerving.

“Must you do this every time?” my mother continued.

“Do what? All I’ve done is say hello. You’re the one who’s been criticizing me since the moment I got here.”

Frank spoke up again. “Louise, we’ve been waiting here for thirty minutes.”

He was right. I had been late. I was giving Sey as much time as I could to get back to me.

But it wasn’t like they hadn’t ever kept me waiting. For example, I’m still waiting on my gift from my thirteenth birthday. There had to be a $0.99 Store around here somewhere.

“You didn’t touch your croissant,” I said looking at the prop in front of them. “Are you going to eat it? I didn’t have lunch.”

Martha huffed in disgust and pushed it in front of me. I know it was a small thing, but this was the first thing they had given me in years. Maybe they did love me.

Tearing into it, flakes from it fell onto my plate and the table around it. Both of my parents watched me like it was feeding time at the zoo.

“So, how is school?” my father asked.

I almost choked. Neither of them had ever asked me that before. I didn’t know what was happening. And as much as I wanted to reply with something snide, I didn’t dare. What if the concern they were showing me was real? What if, despite a lifetime of evidence to the contrary, they actually did care about me? I couldn’t risk ruining that.

“It’s okay,” I said sincerely. “Umm, classes are going well. I have a really cool roommate… Quin. Umm, I have a boyfriend,” I said suddenly desperately wanting their approval.

“I see,” Frank said lowering his eyes.

Had I ruined the moment by reminding him I hadn’t listened to them on the meds thing and had survived? I had, hadn’t I? If I would have kept my mouth shut and just said things were fine, he wouldn’t have looked away. I always do this. I always keep talking when I should be shutting up.

“And here he is right now,” I said seeing him open the door.

Sey had come. He was here! I could have cried seeing him. And behind him were five of his football teammates. What was going on?

As soon as he saw me, his eyes lit up. Throwing the door open, he stepped inside.

“Lou!” he bellowed from across the room. His teammates lined up behind him.

“Sey, what’s happening?”

Sey looked back at the guys. When he did, they started singing.

“Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can’t help falling in love with you.”

As the guys continued what had to be the sorriest rendition of one of my favorite songs, Sey crossed the room to me. Overwhelmed, I looked at my parents. Both were looking down and away. They wanted no part of what was going on and they weren’t hiding it.

I didn’t care. Whatever was happening was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me and I wasn’t going to let them ruin it.

“Lou, I know we haven’t known each other very long. But when you meet the person you know you want to spend the rest of your life with, you know. And if you do, what’s the point in waiting?”

“Wait what?” I said both horrified and delighted.

“Like a river flows, surely to the sea, darling, so it goes, some things are meant to be.”

 “Lou, what I’m saying is that we might have just met, but I know you. I’ve known you my entire life because you were the dream I prayed every night would come true. So…” he said getting down onto one knee in front of me and pulling a ring out of his pocket.

“Oh my God!” I gasped.

“Louise Armoury, will you marry me?”

My head spun. Was this real? It had to be. I would never put such horrible singers in one of my fantasies.

Could I do it? Should I do it? We had only just met. But, as he said, when you know, you know. And I have never had anyone treat me like he has. Never.

“Yes,” I said. “Yes, I’ll marry you,” I told him with tears rolling down my cheek.

“You will?” he said as happy as I was.

“I will,” I repeated knowing it was the best decision I had ever made.

He took my hand and slid the ring onto my finger. It was a little big but that was okay. We could fix it. We were in love and love could fix anything.

He got off of his knee and kissed me. It was my first kiss as an engaged woman. It was wonderful. I had never been happier in my life.

With Sey’s arms around me, I turned to my parents. They still hadn’t looked at Sey. They hadn’t moved their eyes from the floor. Was it that they couldn’t stand to be wrong? They had said that no one would ever love me the way I was, but this was the proof that they had been wrong.

A man loved me so much that he had asked me to marry him after two dates. Didn’t that say every there was to say about me? I was lovable. I was worth someone’s time.

“Well? Aren’t you going to say anything?” I asked needing to hear their defeat.

It was then that my mother looked up at me. Her eyes locked on mine.

“Your grandmother Agatha died. Her funeral was yesterday. There will be a reading of her will. We expect you there and try not to be late,” she said before both of them got up and walked out.

I watched them stunned. I couldn’t speak or move. I had to have heard them wrong. Or maybe it was a joke.

“Grandma Aggie is dead,” I heard someone say.

I was the one who said it. It was meant to be a question for the two people who were leaving taking my grip on reality with them. But they couldn’t hear me. I could barely hear myself. And as they left the shop and crossed in front of the window, they brushed past another familiar face. That person was holding a bouquet.

“Titus,” I whispered before his devastated eyes turned towards me, and he ran past the window and out of sight.