Celibacy Support
*For readers who enjoy MM romantic comedies with a chaotic, morally messy narrator, rapid-fire humor, and heart.
*****
Teagan “Tea” Bray is done falling in love with every guy who makes eye contact with him. So he and his roommate make a pact. For an entire semester, they will help each other remain celibate.
Too bad Tea’s roommate breaks it before the semester even begins; and without telling Tea, moves in with his new boyfriend forcing the boyfriend’s roommate to move in with Tea.
But that’s okay because Tea’s forced roommate, Rylan Dent, agrees to become Tea’s new celibacy support making it his mission to ensure that Tea will never have sex again.
Would Rylan be the best person for the job considering he is a ripped, dimpled, football player who a crazy Farmer’s Market vendor predicted would be the love of Tea’s life?
Or because Tea — who has the willpower of a chihuahua with a taco fetish — is willing to use every wild idea he can come up with to break his pact with Rylan under his knitted sheets?
…Or because Rylan’s straight?
Who could know for sure?
Because anything could happen in this laugh-out-loud, ‘forced proximity,’ MM romantic comedy packed with humor, sexy bad decisions, and a big-hearted HEA ending.
Here’s what I know for sure. The number of guys that you sleep with is directly proportional to the number of times you ugly cry in the ice cream aisle at 3 a.m., and I’m all out of Lactaid. I know, I could just buy more Lactaid. But I could also stop falling in love with every guy who makes eye contact with me.
Not just any eye contact, of course. I’m not a psycho. I’m talking about that really good eye contact. The one that says, I want to take you home, do dirty things to you, and then have you by my side as I come out to my mom.
The type of eye contact that says this is true love. And never again will I take a breath without you curled around me, passing your breath into my lungs. Thinking, being, feeling what you feel until our heartbeats become one.
No, I’m done with all that. So, adding boys to the list of things that don’t love me back, I’ve made a pact with my new roommate. All summer we’ve discussed it, and for this semester only, the two of us will be celibate. The reason we’ve chosen to live together is to be each other’s celibacy support.
Whenever one of us gets tempted, we’ll talk to the other. In moments of weakness, we’ll reach for each other. And since neither of us are each other’s types, there is no risk of falling for each other.
It’s the perfect plan. And after spending weeks working out every detail, we’ve moved in together about to start what could be the greatest time of our lives.
“I have something to tell you, Tea. You’re not going to like it,” Jordan said, coming home wearing the same clothes he'd worn the night before.
“Is it that someone spiked your drink at the old folks' home you volunteered at? Know that there’s only one right answer,” I said, stating the obvious.
“I didn’t actually volunteer at an old folks' home last night.”
“No!” I said, shocked.
“I went to a party.”
“Liar!”
“I met a guy.”
“Betrayer!”
“We had sex.”
“Clutching my pearls!”
“And now we’re in love.”
“Foul demon!”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It just happened.”
“In one night? What are we, lesbians?”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Say, you’ll never see him again. Say that we made a pact and you see how wrong your actions were, and you humbly seek my forgiveness.”
“I can’t. I love him.”
“You don’t even know him.”
“I don’t have to. He gave me the look.”
I fell silent. There was no denying the look. If a guy gave you the look that said he was willing to have your baby and would keep trying until it happened, what could I say to that?
He had found true love. On the last Friday before the beginning of class, no less. Life was unfair.
How had nothing like that ever happened to me? Was I so unlovable? Was there no guy who loved me enough to pass me around to all of his friends in the way that said how proud he was of me?
“Well it’s too bad your celibacy pact means that you can’t sleep with him this entire semester. It’s probably going to be hard. But imagine how much stronger your relationship will be by the end of it.”
“I’m not going to be celibate. You don’t understand, Tea. I love him.”
“Love him? You don’t even know him,” I yelled.
“But I do.” Jordan touched his heart. “In here.”
“You don’t,” I said bitterly.
“You only think that because you don’t know what it feels like to be loved.”
My entire body tensed. His words were a dagger to the heart. I had told him that in confidence and he had used it as a weapon. What could I say to that? It had to be something that cut him to his very core leaving him a heap of blubber on the ground.
“Well your Britney impression licks ass.”
Jordan gasped.
“And not in the good way that says he loves you.”
“You bitch!” Jordan replied proclaiming my victory.
Storming out of the dorm, I fought back tears. It wasn’t because Jordan had found love and I hadn't. At least, not entirely. It was for the sorry place I had found myself. I wanted what he had.
That was why we were living together. Unlike Jordan, I needed space away from boys to grow. I needed his support. How could I get it now knowing he had what I wanted? I couldn’t. My life was over.